The Psychology of Shyness
Psychologists are recently investing a lot of time, attention and money to study and understand shyness, shyness as casual and harmless as it sounds, has adverse effects that can do considerable damage to an individual’s life; from loss of career opportunities to lack of tangible social interactions to isolation and loneliness.
One of the major accept scientists in the field of psychology have put in an effort to figure out for decades now is what the origin of shyness is and what makes an individual shy. Their final discovery and conclusion are very crucial and practical too; the reason is that they set a robust and durable foundation for permanently overcoming shyness.
The Nature of Shyness
A few research discovered that there is a born inclination towards shyness, which differs from one individual to the other. This doesn’t really mean that some folks would impulsively become shy because they have this inclination while others won’t.
It only means that in the proper environmental conditions, the individual with this predisposition is far more likely to develop or display shyness than the folks without it. Preferences only tips the scales mildly; they do not decide your fate.
The Life Experiences
Shyness more than anything else is formed during our lifetime, and our life experiences trigger its presence. In other words, due to some usually unpleasant happenings in our lives, some individuals learn that shyness is a proper retaliation to social situations.
Do not expect to discover anything histrionic in the past of the victims of shyness, for instance, a significant emotional abuse or traumas. A good amount of shy people are very ordinary individuals that grew in say an environment where too much emphasis or obligation is put on pleasing other folks in order to avoid social mishaps.
Most shy people along have other family members that were shy in the past, or that are shy, typically parents. However, they form shyness by subconsciously modeling the behavior, characteristics, and attitudes of shy individuals around them at a tender age.
Shyness might have its roots in the nature and experience of the victim but still shows in the present moment. When an individual feels timid and skittish, it’s not his or her experience that makes them feel or act that way. It is actually their current thinking that prompts such character.
Nurture and nature have shaped some individual’s perspective and way of thought in a manner that inspires Shyness. However, the thought and perception take place in the physical here and now.
This, in reality, is great news because if something seems to happen right now in your head, there is a big chance for you to influence and change it by changing the way and pattern of your thinking.
Some things you need to know about shyness:
According to Bernardo Carducci Shyness affects up to forty percent of everyone in the world
Social Anxiety (a more severe and clinical form of shyness, is a combo of 3 influences which are cognitive (what you think), physical (what you feel), and behavioral (what you do).
To elevate your attitude of approachability, expect and assume that individuals are friendlier than you thought and will welcome you into their lives and conversations.
Shyness will only go away when you put in the effort and decide to change it.
Every shy person has this in common; they have called shy by others.
Shyness is the outcome of thinking that losses will out weigh the gains in any encounter.
Changing your attitude =changing the way you act=changing the way you appear to people=changing the way you feel about yourself.
You are what you think you are because of the way you appear to pothead people.
Self-esteem and confidence grow from the way other people responded to you in the past.
One of the leading causes of shyness is thinking and believing “nobody likes or will like what you like ” are you for real? Go on and type in what you like on Google and just observe and watch how many like-minded people are there in the world.
The Shy individual believes that issues with communication are not avoidable and any success they have had in the past was just luck or was not their doing.
Passion is attractive and approachable so look for a way to incorporate the topic of passion in every of your encounter. Folks want to see you speaking about and doing what you are great at as well as passionate about.
Do not tell other people that you are introverted or a shy person, they will eventually believe you, and it will become a form of an obstacle to you.
Don’t give yourself no head a he by feeling or thinking stuff like; I’m too tall, I’m too low in the company hierarchy, I’m too shy, I’m too busy, etc. Do not allow these self-limiting beliefs to be a barricade to you when you want to approach somebody.
Shy people make use of “safety behaviors,” a type of avoidance that controls anxiety. For instance; arriving inappropriately earlier with a view of not being the center of attention when there is a mandatory meeting or setting in the back of the room.
They have or Nurture catastrophic thoughts like when they over exaggerate the importance of an event, Eg. This is the most critical speech of my whole life, I mess it up, and I’m finished this thought actually hunts them and makes them fail at last.
Shy individuals overly apologize in order to find reassurance.
Getting Rid Of Shyness
Primarily, if you desire to unlearn or get rid of your shyness trait, you have to let go of your old pattern of thought and perspective and replace them with fresh and healthier ones. The individual wants to make a shift toward a more active, realistic, comfortable and constructive thinking pattern; this is sure to boost their social confidence.
Furthermore, they will feel more outgoing, confident and comfortable.
Presently, disciplines of the likes of Cognitive behavioral therapies present a wider range of well listed and documented techniques and tools to systematically alter a person’s habitual way of thinking thereby overcoming shyness.
What you have to do as one who is shy is to learn and master them, apply them consistently and correctly, and you will see reasonable results and changes.
You do not have to live with shyness. You can get over it and lead a happier, more comfortable and fulfilling social life.